Danka's World

In God’s hands, your mistakes are not open cuts, they are healed scars that tell stories of great hope.

That is a line from a very poignant post that I just read at the Stuff Christians Like website. And it got a resounding amen from my heart the moment I read it.

In my quietness and my rest the last few months, the idea of scars has come up in my thoughts often. I’ve written before that there is deep meaning for me in the fact that Christ’s risen body didn’t reflect his pre-crucifixion humanity, but that it bore scars. A testament of life overcoming death. Of healing overtaking pain. Of strength coming out of weakness.

In my own life, in the healing God has brought, I notice that He didn’t make it as though I never suffered, but that he can take my suffering and not just heal it, but bring something beautiful out of it, if I let him.

Many times I have wondered if I have done something wrong by being open about my personal struggles with porn. God helped me deal with it and overcome it, yes. But maybe I should have just let the past be past, never to be mentioned again. Be healed and be thankful and just let it go.  But God has been telling me for years that he wants to make something more from it than that. He can use my story to bring hope to others. He can use my service to bring healing to others. 35 to 45 percent of internet searches for pornography today are done by women. All of them are hurting deep inside. They have their own wounds. Some of them want out, want healing. But all around them is silence. And shame. They think they are alone.

I’ve been wondering if I have done something wrong by talking about it. If I’ve embarrassed my family – my birth family or my current family. I’ve wondered if this will embarrass my church. Is this the kind of ministry they want to be associated with? Or is it too much? Too brash? These questions have plagued me and I have begun to feel shame.

I know that God is taking me down this path. I also know that I am free to go along with it or back out. God has been telling me to rest for now, and it has been good. But I sense that it’s coming. Some moment of choice, of decision. I don’t know if it’ll be in a week or a year or maybe a few, but it feels imminent. When I am feeling close to God, I feel confident, that if I only listen to His voice anything is possible, my shame and all my apprehensions melt away into nothingness.

This article I read this morning reminds me that my openness about my struggles is nothing to be ashamed of. God has healed my life. I can keep it to myself, or I can show it off and give hope to others who share my same struggles, who don’t yet know that there is any hope for them. They feel alone but they are not. Just as I felt alone but I was not. I can let my life be a big billboard for hope.

But blah blah blah, that is me.

What are your wounds? We all have them. Wounds are what come from living life in a broken world. What hurt are you carrying around? Did you know that Christ can bring healing? That He can bring beauty from your pain? Will you let the Great Healer in? You are not alone.