The Game
05 Sep 2010 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: parenting, lessons, kids
A long time ago I taught my kids about advertisements and how to recognize them. I was amazed at how they were able to grasp the concept at such a young age. Sweet, I thought. A hard lesson, in the bag. Already!
Well, that was before we got cable. A print ad in a magazine? No problem. A commercial on television? Apparently it’s a little harder to tell. Especially when you’re zoned in front of cartoons and all of a sudden another cartoon is pushin’ product. And making it look so fun. (Dagger eyes at the awful Bratz dolls franchise.)
If it was a commercial aimed at adults, they would occasionally recognize it on their own. Adora would narrow her eyes and speak back to the television in a disgusted tone. “I don’t believe you. You just want us to buy that.” I’d feel proud, and then a little concerned that she really seemed to villanize the products themselves. Which isn’t exactly the right response either. In moments like that, I’d feel a mixture of pride and concern, but then a few days later I’d hear a jingle for a sugary breakfast cereal and within seconds I’d have little arms wrapped around my waist and faces grinning up at me. “Can you pleeease buy some __(insert sugary garbage that parades as a nutritious breakfast here)___?” And I’d be enraged. And I’d bellow “NO!!!!” and feel like a mommy/ogre.
It’s tricky to teach kids to not be so easily manipulated by the media that constantly surrounds them. Heck, it’s tricky to avoid being manipulated ourselves. But ads are a part of our culture and they just can’t be avoided.
I read somewhere recently that the trick is to simply identify and acknowledge every time that you are marketed at. Notice it – don’t make a fuss – and then move on with your life.
Last night the kids and I were watching Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium on television. There were commercial breaks. The three of us zoned out for a while, like humans usually do when commercials come on. Well, we had some tickle fights and poking episodes too, but mostly it was zoning. And then I had an idea. I said, “This is a commercial. What do you think they are trying to sell us?” Instantly it was a game. Grace identified the product in the first commercial and from that point on, it was a race between the kids to see who could identify the product accurately and fastest. And they continued to do so every commercial break for the rest of the movie.
They were engaged in what was going on instead of zoning out. They were being made aware of advertising and all its tricks. They learned that commercials advertise for things other than individual products. We saw ads for movies. An ad to draw you into a particular pet supply store, and an ad for a whole family of products.
I think I’m going to encourage them in this game from now on whenever they are in front of the television. Or on the internet or out in public. Everywhere they encounter ads. I think it’ll be good for them. Maybe when they get used to that, I’ll take it up a notch and we’ll start deconstructing what we see to identify the emotional cues that make people dissatisfied with what they have and make them want to buy new stuff.
Is it geeky that I think this is really fun?
A Long Obedience
04 Sep 2010 13 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: writing, philosophy, quotes, life, marriage, healing, hope
“Because how we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard
I’ve been chasing a track of thought the last couple of days. I’m not sure if I can quite articulate it, but I’ll try.
Last week, Matthew and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. You know that old joke, on your birthday someone will ask, “Well, do you feel any older?” It’s funny, and depending on my mood I fool around with the answer. But truthfully? No. I never feel older on my birthday. I always feel the same as I did the day before.
The night of my anniversary, however, after all the celebrations – all of them – when I was waiting to fall asleep, I did feel somehow, different. In the days leading up to the date, I had pondered the significance of the occasion and felt and thought a variety of things. Old. Astounded. Excited. Mostly old. (How is that I’m old enough to have been married for ten years?)
But on the Thursday night of August 26, 2010, I lay in my bed and I felt so very different. I felt wise and accomplished. I felt like I always imagined I would feel if I ever graduated university (how I will feel when I do graduate university, that is) only it felt ten times as hugely significant as graduation could feel.
It caught me off guard.
I have never done anything for ten years. Except this. My life has always been constantly changing. Changing location. Changing jobs. Changing religion. Changing friends. Hobbies. Habits. Opinions. The paint on the walls. I don’t feel very much like a person of constancy, reliability. I’ve never felt steady.
And here I’ve been a wife for ten. whole. years. My whole adult life, really.
But it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just about me (like it usually is). Marriage is a we thing. It simply can not ever be a me thing. We did this. For ten. whole. years. We did it together. How miraculous.
I suppose that could be a post in itself, but I’ve been getting a new perspective all around. I’ve discovered in that last few months that writing isn’t something I want to do. It’s something I do, in one form or another, on a daily basis, and it’s something I have always done. Since I was old enough to hold a pen. I don’t want to be a writer. I am a writer. I don’t need a career path, notoriety and a steady paycheck to prove it. It’s part of who I am. That realization has brought a tremendous wave of relief. Writing is not something I can fail at. It’s simply part of my personal make-up.
I am a mother, and I always will be, from now and forever. My family is my family and I will never have another.
Other things about me that seem to constantly change, are, in reality, part of who I am. Ministry groups and volunteer opportunities in the community and among friends seem to come and go from my schedule. I’m always involved in some new thing. But whether the setting or cause is new or changing, I seem to have a personal service quotient that must be filled in order for me to feel like I’m living my life. It goes way back to when I was a teenager. Even though we weren’t involved in church in any way, my mom used to make sure we spent time volunteering. We canvassed for charities and participated in fundraisers and community service in general. I got used to living life that way. Now I can’t not live that way.
The same with creative endeavors. The same with home decor and improvement. The same with organizing. And reorganizing. Over and over and over again.
The more I’ve been paying attention to these regularities in my life I’ve been beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin. And even though my schedule is far from the frenzied mass of activity it was a short time ago, I don’t feel like I’m doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. My life feels rich and full. I’m feeling more at ease with this girl God made. No, this woman. And I think I like her. How about that!
I’ve been less frantic with the fear that I will never accomplish anything ‘big’ or ‘worthwhile’ in my lifetime. I am pretty faithful on a day-to-day basis in the small everyday things God has given me. And I realize that if I go along, and am content, as time accumulates each thing will become better and better in its own right. I think I can be very satisfied with that.
“The essential thing in heaven and earth is that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; there results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living.” – Nietzsche.
I’m part of this great marriage and this great family. I am a friend and I have great friends. I’m good at cleaning and organizing stuff. I write! I learn. I learn all the time. I have an abundance of simple pleasures: reading, walking around my town and around nature – taking it all in, the joys of cooking good food, the joys of growing things for beauty and, hopefully soon, for food, hearing laughter resound from the open mouths of my children and my friends. Girlfriends. Yes. Worship. Yes.
Yes.
Baking Day
02 Sep 2010 8 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: cooking, parenting
This morning I packed my kitchenaid mixer, some stoneware and half of my pantry into the car. The kids and I drove over to my friend Elizabeth’s house. A few weeks ago Liz had the brilliant idea of planning a day to bake until our freezers were full of goodies for school lunches.
She’s a genius. And she has a great new oven with two compartments that you can have going at separate temperatures. At one point we had four bundt cakes (chocolate zucchini) in the bottom oven and two dozen muffins (carrot pineapple) in the top. We also made cookie dough (oatmeal raisin) to freeze into logs for slicing and baking at a later date, savory cheese and herb muffins, and some homemade granola bars that didn’t want to come out of the pans properly, but that were delicious nonetheless.
When I got home with my share of the goods, I divided and wrapped everything into individual proportions and organized them into the freezer. I have over 5 dozen individually wrapped treats for the kids’ lunchboxes, as well as one whole bundt cake and a roll of cookie dough. Not bad for a days work. Thanks Elizabeth!
Get Ready!
01 Sep 2010 10 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: blogging
I’ve decided it’s time for a little NaBloPoMo -ing.
I’m back into the habit of being on the internet (almost) everyday because I re-joined Facebook for the summer. But I knew that as soon as the regular school year (and church event) schedule got back into order I was going to be deactivating my Facebook account again and easing back into the habit of blogging.
Since today is September 1st it’s the perfect time to commit to NaBloPoMo and force the habit by posting daily for the whole month.
Thanks to all you readers who have stuck with me through this dry spell. I enjoy blogging as an activity, but I found during this time that I have truly come to love a lot of the people in my blogging community. It’s not just enough to check in on you on your own blogs – which I have enjoyed doing several times a week – but I feel the need to jump back in and hold up my end of the conversation. And to you mysterious readers who don’t comment or give any indication of your identity at all, well, I suppose I’ve come to miss your stalking as well.
So here’s a toast (holding up an imaginary champagne flute) to the internet and all it holds. Cheers!
Sunday Evening Post
29 Aug 2010 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: grace, janitorial, random
I named this post because it’s an event – I’m not sure I’ve ever posted on a Sunday evening in all my years of blogging. That, and I don’t have a subject.
Phhhhhhhew, here’s a subject. Grace just farted next to me on the sofa and it reeks. Poor baby is sick. On her second poop of the morning she had a major stomach ache to accompany it and her lips turned pale and she went all clammy for the pain. I felt so bad for her! She survived, and seemed to recuperate for most of the day until the afternoon when she put herself to bed. Now she has a fever. And rank farts, apparently. So she’s laid out on the couch watching cartoons.
I just got home from work and am in desperate need of a shower. I was vacuuming on my last job of the afternoon when the vacuum bag exploded and blew dust and dirt all over the inside of the office I had just finished cleaning. And, of course, all over me. I’m also hungry for supper, and am looking forward to tucking into a big bowl of the minestrone soup I made yesterday. Yum.
I’m hungry and I need a shower. So why am I blogging again? Good question.
The Opposite of Last Week.
24 Aug 2010 5 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: kids, people, summer
I saw so many kids over the course of last week that by Friday I was feeling a tad bit frazzled. But it was fun, and I look back on it with (mostly) joy, and WHAM, here we are in the middle of next week already.
The time – it flies. I can’t believe it is almost time for school.
We had a bit of a cold-snap around here, and the days required light sweaters and even, gasp, socks. Suddenly I was craving pumpkin spice lattes and the sound of fresh notebooks slapping open on tables. Suddenly I began thinking of the clothing, lunch containers and ballet gear that need to be purchased. I mentally organized schedules and structures (we will have a set homework time and after school play-dates restricted to one afternoon per week, by golly) that will help to form a cohesive weekly plan.
And then BOOM it was Monday. We put the kids to bed a tad earlier Sunday night and set the alarm. Their day camps are this week so I had to get them dressed and out the door with packed lunches and in their respective classes at their respective times. It’s as if school has started already. It sort of caught me by surprise, as I was so absorbed in the hullaballoo of last week that I barely had a moment to think ahead to this week.
Grace is at the TRU sports camp for 5 and 6 year olds. It’s a half-day program, just like kindergarten was for her last year, so she’s home with me by lunchtime. Adora’s camp is held at the Kamloops Art Gallery and is full days. With all the driving and the various pick up and drop off times, it feels just like the entire school year felt last year.
As an aside, I would like to note (avid people-watcher that I am) the hilarious difference in the parent-groups at the two camps. The sport parents are all streamlined with impeccably straightened and highlighted hair and toned and tanned calves emerging out the bottom of their yoga pants. The art parents wear either head to toe black or eclectic and ethnic colours. Their hair is either aesthetically unruuly or styled a-symmetrically. It amused me. Although I felt I didn’t really belong to either group. Or both groups? No. I never wear yoga pants. I’m not sporty in any way. Art-mom I am!
Anyways. So the kids are in their camps. The fall is looming large. I will have a lot of apples off our tree to bake into treats. I’m creating lists of projects to fill my time with while waiting for the right moment to return to my own studies. After this week of activity for the kids there is just one week left of summer holidays before school starts. Do I fill it with fun or let the kids roam lazily around inside these last long sunny days? Probably a bit of both, knowing me.
Kid Zone
20 Aug 2010 8 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: church, kids, life
I’m hiding in my bedroom with my laptop.
But I have the door open so I can hear what’s going on out there. From a distance. Right now they are gathered around the Wii. Mario Kart music. Excited voices. Competition. Encouragement.
I just fed them. Somehow their full bellies have muted the volume. They were getting a little high strung for a few minutes. It’s better now. I made two things for lunch and they consumed enough ketchup on the side to make up a third entree.
Kids.
In the last two hours I’ve been presented with three different toys with the request for new batteries. My Costco-sized pack of AA’s is quickly dwindling. Didn’t I just buy those? Whatever did parents do when they only came in packs of four? I have a zip-lock bag full of dead ones I want to recycle. I don’t even know where to take them to recycle them. Can you recycle them? Help me.
Actually, it’s going pretty well. I’m amazed I can sit here and type at all. They are all content out there. I’ve finished washing the third load of dishes for the day (it’s only 1pm). My friend’s kids are here. Two boys. It goes like this: boy aged 9, girl aged (almost) 8, boy aged 7, girl aged 6. They have known each other since the second one of the four (that would be Adora) was born.
We used to live next door to these boys. It was a sweet set up. Our two families shared a lot of meals, and a lot of evenings, and a lot of FUN. We still do, even though we live on different ends of town now. When their parents, our friends, started a business I provided daycare to the boys for a while. At the time, it went like this: newborn girl, boy aged 1, girl aged 2, boy aged 3. I was breast-feeding the baby. The two oldest were potty-training. In theory it was a great idea. In reality, I just about lost my mind. And the children lived in terror of me (I imagine) because I was an emotional, over-tired, frustrated, disciplinarian wreck with sore nipples who saw far too many pairs of pooed underwear in any given week. In sadness I had to tell my friend only six months in that I just couldn’t do it anymore. She had to put them in a real daycare, which sounded scarier, but was probably a lot better for them. It worked out in the long run and we’re all still friends. It took a while for the boys to come to trust and enjoy my presence in their lives again. That made me really sad because I love them. But now years have passed and it’s all forgotten and we’re good.
Wow, that story came out of nowhere. I was going to tell you about Back Yard Clubs.
We hosted a Backyard club all this week. Luckily (for the children) I did not run the thing, and only had to provide the backyard and the snack and some prayers. Some teenagers from our church did the rest. They played games, sang songs, heard Bible stories, played more games, sang more songs, and so on, repeat, forever, every morning this week.
It was a lot of fun.
Thank-God it’s over.
What is with me? I love kids. Every child that was here I know in real life and I love, love, love them. They were all super-well behaved. I was glad to see their shining faces! I didn’t even have to do anything but enjoy their presence – the teens did all the work (and they were fantastic) and yet, I cheered in my heart when the last parent drove away with their child when it was all said and done. (Except the two boys who are still here – I decided to keep them for a while).
It sort of reminds me of the time I thought I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher when I grew up.
And then I spent a year volunteering in a kindergarten classroom once a week.
And changed my career plans.
I love kids.
And I’m not just saying that.
I have issues. Sigh.
Flexitarian
18 Aug 2010 9 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: cooking, kids, lessons, life, parenting
My children know that meat comes from animals. Bacon and ham come from pigs. Hamburgers and steak come from cows. chicken comes from chicken. Fish from fish, and so on. They know all this, and have for some time.
Well, Adora got it in her head that she would like to be a farmer when she grows up. So we spent some time talking about farming. We talked about Grandma Sonia and Bruce’s farm and we talked about the life cycle of the sheep. What Adora and Grace know of the sheep is how cute the lambs are every spring when we go visit, and the funny sound of the bleating Mama sheep, and how the wool gets sheared off. She turned three shades of green when we began to talk about slaughter (we were eating lunch while we talked). We went on to talk about how the steaks in the shiny packages at the store came from real animals from real farms that really, really had been slaughtered so we could eat them. The reality of what they already knew began to sink in. They wanted details. They wanted to know how the animals were killed. I told them I didn’t know. I lied. We were eating lunch after all.
Grace sat in stunned silence. Adora made gagging sounds, declared she wanted nothing to do with farming, and wanted to end the discussion right this minute. I told her that it is important to know where your food comes from.
She said that she wanted to become a vegetarian. Grace agreed. They know about vegetarianism because some of their friends from school are from vegetarian families. I explained a bit about vegetarianism and how you can’t just stop eating meat, you have to eat other things to make up complete proteins, yada yada yada. Still, they want to go meatless.
I was a vegetarian for a few years, as a bleeding heart teenager (although I never really gave up bacon and would be willing to occasionally eat ground beef or cut up chicken breast if, and only if, it was cooked in a manner to disguise the meatiness of the meat – think stir-fry or spaghetti). As it was, when I met Matthew, waaaay back in the day, my family ate meat a few times a week and his family ate it three meals a day. Over the years we hit a balance and meat is included in most dinners around here. I even learned how to cook a pretty good roast and handle raw meat (I was squeamish about it for a long time). In the last eight months or so though, I have shifted my stance on meat again. I have purposefully begun cooking at least one meatless dinner per week, sometimes two or three, in a weak non-committal attempt to both reduce our family’s carbon footprint and reduce our saturated fat intake.
Now we’ve come full circle and I have two little girls who are beginning to make choices about how they want to live their lives. In light of my own past, and the fact that a big juicy steak still doesn’t appeal all that much to my palate (I’m fine until I start thinking about it in the middle of my meal and sometimes have to stop eating because my imagination grosses me out) I fully support their desire to explore other dining options. I have two hang-ups, though.
1. My poor, poor husband, who is a meat-itarian, and has worked so hard to incorporate veggies into his diet in the same way I have worked hard to become accustomed to meat. I will probably be having to cook double meals to keep everyone satisfied, which is something I swore I would never do. Oh well.
2. Re-learning how to cook. I have a few good meatless dinners in my repertoire, but I am going to need more variety, and I am going to need to study up on vegetarian nutrition. All I can say is thank God for the internet.
That being said – if you have any great vegetarian recipes that make a nutritionally complete meal, please pass them on!
Only time will tell if this will be a passing phase for our family or the beginning of a pretty major diet change. I don’t plan on going full-vegetarian myself, but we will certainly be shifting more to a vegetable and grains based plan around here for a while at least. Pray for my husband 
for patience and that all his needs will be met while us girls experiment in the kitchen.
Ten
03 Aug 2010 6 Comments
Ten: My littlist sister turned 25 yesterday.
Nine: Grace turns six tomorrow.
Eight: She lost her first two teeth last week, front and center…
Seven: …while we were on holidays for an entire beautiful week at the Shuswap – we stayed here.
Six: I’ve been thinking swapping homes with another family somewhere else in the world would make for a fun holiday. We live close to a great ski-hill. Anybody out there on the other side of the world like skiing?
Five: I’m going to try dragon boating on Thursday. I’m excited, but my weak upper body is trembling in fear.
Four: If you’ve got kids, this is a great book. Matthew and I both read it. We agree – shocking I know – that it’s a great resource.
Three: Speaking of books, I was recently turned onto a sci-fi novel from the 70′s that I’d never heard of, but since I’ve been raving about it everybody apparently has already read it – and loved it. If you haven’t, you should, and there are lots of sequels to keep you busy for years to come. Whee! Ender’s Game.
Two: Our tenth wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of this month. Wow.
One: Make this: Take a bag of those little potatoes, cut them in half and roast them in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes to an hour with olive oil, salt and pepper and four to six smashed garlic cloves. When they’re roasted to your satisfaction, put them in a bowl and mix in a good dollop of plain yogurt, a teensy bit of mayo for flavor, a squirt of dijon mustard, and maybe a little more salt and pepper if you think it needs it. Possibly some green onions, if that’s your style. Serve warm. Warm potato salad. Ohhhh yeah.
We’re Off!
25 Jul 2010 1 Comment
Thanks for the lovely comments on those last two posts. I guess posting about not posting sort of opened the floodgates. For two days, anyhow. Now I’m off to the beautiful Shuswap for a week of beach with my family and some friends. Holidays! Yes!
