Sisters

Adora also wrote a post on her blog today.

Tid Bits

I feel like posting but I have no topic, so WATCH OUT, randomness coming at ya.

  • I am in the midst of baking cake. A lot of cake. My sister’s wedding is coming up. My Mom is doing the cake. She did my wedding cake ten years ago. She is a creative-type. But she’s not so big on the baking. And she only has a little convection / microwave oven. I like to bake. So I got roped in. We decided we should do a practice run. So I’m baking a practice cake, and later today, she will be coming over to decorate it. It will be three tiers, but we’re not bothering with the (giant) bottom layer today. I’ve got the middle layer in the oven right now – 16 cups of cake batter!!! And I still have to do the top. In a different flavor. But I don’t want to reveal too much.
  • I’m dancing a little jig because ballet is officially over. I love taking the kids to ballet. I love watching them. I love that it is a thing the two kids share and enjoy together. I really love it, all year long – until the end of June that is. By the end of June I cry on Friday mornings, knowing what is to come in the afternoon. Truth be told, the kids seem to have had enough by then as well. The recital was last weekend and it was a great success. I was so proud of them I had tears in my eyes. But that deserves it’s own post. With pictures! I promise to get on that, soon.
  • Also last weekend (I had a little calendar planning glitch that made last weekend a very busy one) I hosted a bridal shower for my sister. We had seventeen ladies packed in here on Sunday afternoon, and boy did those ladies eat. My kitchen help and I (thanks Grandma, Paige and Wanda!) made three appies and three deserts as well as fruit and the ladies devoured it all. It was great! My sister was spoiled with gifts. We did some crazy games. The weekend went off without a hitch thanks in large part to Matthew who mowed the lawn, pitched in with the clean-up, and even learned how to apply eyeliner perfectly so he could get the kids off to their second recital on Sunday while I was busy showering Amber.
  • Grace was bopping around here a few minutes ago listening to her MP3 player. I asked her what she was listening to. “If I had eyes in the back of my head (Jack Johnson),” she rolled her eyes at me. “It’s my favorite.” As if I should know. Geez. Attitude much?
  • Adora has a new hobby. Building things with hammer, nails and spare bits of wood from her Papa’s shop. A few weeks ago she brought home a sailboat she had built. On Sunday night we were out there for Matt’s brother’s birthday dinner (yes, after the shower and the recital) and we all sat on the deck shooting the breeze while Adora could be heard, down at the shop, hammering away on new creations. In a sundress, of course.
  • Hello, blog traffic. Before posting today, I thought I’d take a look at my stats. I feared that with my major blogging slow-down my numbers would have dropped off completely. Nope. I have more visitors than ever. What the what? The other day I had as many as I did way back when I had the word porn in the title (most visitors ever). So hello to anyone who is new. Thanks for reading. Comments are always welcome! ;-)

Okay. That’s enough for today. I need to go stir up the next round of cake batter.

I’m not sure what we’re going to do with this cake. It smells delicious.

Like a Child

Give a child a bed sheet and they build a tent. They imagine it’s surrounded by trees (a coat rack) and wild animals (the pillows from the sofa). Give a bed sheet to an adult and they fold it and put it away in the closet.

So begins this article I found several weeks ago. It hit home with me because I had just finished folding and putting away the laundry – bed sheets included – before I read the article, and also because I have been feeling creatively stuck.

I had a bit of an epiphany. And since then, I have been very quietly observing things around here. Here in my home. Here in my head. I haven’t made any moves or decisions. I’ve just made some observations.

Adora, who is a child, and not an adult, and who is the most creative little soul I know, and who draws about a dozen pictures each and every single day, approaches her creations in a different manner than I do.

1. She draws the same thing over and over and over and over. She gets an idea. She tries, and it’s not what she wants, so she tries it again. She does it over and over and over and over, adding more detail each time, until she can do it perfectly. With her eyes closed even.

2. She doesn’t hoard her imperfect attempts or try to make them something they’re not. She has made friends with the recycle bin.

3. Virtually everything that doesn’t hit the recycle bin is given to someone as a gift.

4. She takes equal pleasure in hiding in her closet to do art away from an audience, and pulling the supplies out to the dining table and having an art party with anyone who will participate.

One day she will grow into a woman and if the world doesn’t ‘justify’ her art by rewarding her with money or notoriety, she will most likely (not certainly; not for certain) cease to do art every day (and then every week, and then every month) and she will take to folding the laundry efficiently and rushing off to her job. And when I think of it I cry motherly tears. And then I vow to do something about it. But what? I guess I will have to begin by changing the way I view my own creativity.

Balance

Yesterday was what I call a balanced day. It began with a 5k run and ended with a cup of coffee and a slice of ganache torte from Milestones with my Mom. That is a good balance!

My life feels balanced right now, and yet it feels like it is teetering. It could so easily tip and fall in any direction. What is the point of balance anyway? What is a balanced life? Is balance even good? Or should one just forget about it and go hard in one direction or another? Who knows.

This blog feels unbalanced because it is a mommy-blog, kind of, and yet it has been a loooong time since I posted anything about my kids. I think about them all the time, and what I could tell you about them, but I never do it. Here, I’ll tell you a little something about each of them right now.

Adora:

  • is discovering a love of (and talent for) math because she has been learning (from her Dad who has been working with her on it everyday) that it is all about rules. She loves rules!
  • secretly made Grace’s bed and cleaned her room for her while Grace was busy brushing her teeth because: “Gracie just doesn’t seem to understand how to get it done, but I think she deserves to have a nice room.” Seriously.
  • is missing all her front teeth, and grins wide and talks excitedly, lisping away (often about her love of math).

Grace:

  • talks incessantly. I sometimes catch her playing by herself and the chatting does not stop. I think she must have some sort of condition where whatever runs through her brain comes out the moth as well. It can be both cute and trying.
  • reads like no other five year old I have ever encountered. She devours books, and road signs, and greeting cards, and food packaging, anything and everything with print on it. She can even decipher an adult’s messy handwriting (mine for instance – I always put her in charge of the grocery list when we go to the store).
  • is the boss of her boyfriend and he doesn’t seem to mind at all. When they are together, the dimples and the laughter are flying through the air.

In other news:

  • I got the foyer all painted during Spring Break. It looks great. It a wonderful shade of grey that looks like elephant skin in the day with the sunlight pouring in, and a dark almost mossy green when the light darkens in the evening. I discovered that it is probably a good thing that Matthew and I are not in the paint-colour naming business though because while I was rolling it onto the wall, I thought to myself ‘primordial soup,’ and then five minutes later Matt came down and said ‘it looks like a shade from military camo.’ I bought a few cute picture frames that I am in the process of finding just the right photographs for, and am on the hunt for a little table or bench to stick down there as well. Matthew will be adding some big fat white trim and then we’ll call it done!
  • The suite is done and the renters are moving in in just over a week from today. My father in law was here just yesterday putting on the final touches and packing up the rest of his tools to take home. It looks amazing down there. The day Matthew put the advert up on kijiji and craigslist, we had someone show up at the door two hours after he listed it. We received something like eleven e-mail replies in the first day, showed it three times by dinner time and officially had it rented out the next day.
  • Oh yeah, the running. Remember a while back and I said I go out for a run occasionally and I was thinking I should make it a regular deal? Well, I took my own advice and started going out regularly. I’ve been going out three mornings a week and I can’t believe how quickly my body got back into the rhythm of it. It’s amazing.
  • Oh yeah, the writing. After bragging about the running I must hang my head in shame and admit that I have barely touched my book in the last couple of weeks. I have no excuse. I sure like to start new things. I really need to work on my stick-to-it-ivness. It isn’t all lost though. I have been actually writing a good deal more of it. I add to it a few times each week. The problem is that I’m not supposed to be writing more right now. Right now I’m supposed to be editing, organizing, and cutting out huge chunks of it that suck. So I feel like I’m not actually making any progress. Tsk tsk.
  • Did you know that in the 1940′s Lysol brand disinfectant (so strong most of us don’t even use it to clean our toilets anymore) was sold as a vaginal douche, recommended to be used three times a week? I bet you didn’t know that, unless you’re in my book club. We are currently reading Flow: the Cultural story of Menstruation. It is a fascinating (and horrifying) book.
  • My Mom and I went to see the Emily Carr exhibit at the Kamloops Art Gallery last night. We have both admired Carr’s work before, often together, but only in print, books, calendars etc. To see the original works? Moving. Haunting. Inspiring. You should go.
  • Mother nature is toying with my emotions. Beautiful sunshine! Snow. Beautiful sunshine! Frost. Will the roller coaster never end? I just want to plant. It’s all I want.
  • I’m looking forward to the weekend for once (usually, for me, the weekend represents an overwhelming amount of busy-ness what with work, work, work, coupled with all the usual social things people do on the weekends). My Mom is taking the kids, I’m taking Saturday off from work (or actually I’m going to go work my buns off tonight to get it all done ahead of time – my job is the type of work that if I don’t do it nobody else will. Also, if I don’t do it i don’t get paid) and going to Kelowna for the day. Yay! I have a gift certificate burning in my wallet for a store they have that we don’t. Also, I need to get out of here. Get me outta here! Shannon may be coming with me, Matthew may be coming with me, or I may be going by myself. It’s still all up in the air. But I will be going. Come hell or high water. I’m not sure what I will do other than spend my GC and wander around downtown (Kelowna has some of the bestest bookstores) but I plan to be there for the whole day, so if anyone who lives in one of the surrounding small towns (ahem, you know who you are) wants to come have coffee, let me know and we’ll hook up. But I know you generally have a lot on your plate on Saturdays. So no pressure. :-) (And I can fit a few more bums in the Civic so if anybody else wants to join the fun, come along! It’ll be great!)
  • Here’s another random tidbit that I will send you off to ponder: for centuries before the term PMS was invented, PMS was diagnosed as hysteria (hysteria comes from the same root work as uterus) and the clinical treatment for hysteria was for women to go to the doctor to be manually stimulated to orgasm by the doctor in order to chill the woman out. Only it was not considered orgasm, or sexual in nature at all, because women were not allowed to be considered sexual beings. Vibrators were invented as a clinical tool to save the poor doctors from this tiring task. Yep. Yep they were. Those poor doctors.

My kids are growing up in a different age than I did. Matthew was just flying a remote control bird around the living room.

Adora: “Dad, that is so cool. We should totally make a video of that and put it online.”

When Literacy Backfires

A little bit of backstory: Adora was an early reader. Pre-kindergarten. Kindergarten. In grade one we put her in French-immersion and by Christmas-time she had fallen behind her age group in reading ability. My good friend Elizabeth took some time out of her busy schedule to tutor her (Matthew and I don’t know French. Much.) and she caught up. Barely. But she did. This year (grade 2) her French reading ability soared and her teacher told me not to worry about the English. It would come with time. But somehow, just from life exposure I guess, she has been reading everything around her in both languages, much to my delight. She really seems to enjoy being able to figure out for herself the meaning of all these symbols floating around her on a daily basis. She takes pride in the fact that she doesn’t need an interpreter. That has been the number one thing behind her drive to read lately. whatever it is, it makes my Mother-heart happy.

So I took the kids to the public library, something we do less often now that the kids go to the school library with their classes every week. I decided before hand that I would not censor their choices (you might be aware of my kids desire for and my revulsion to everything ‘princess’.) They have their own library cards. They should have the freedom to borrow at their leisure without an overbearing mother dictating what they should read, right? Right? Right.

So we browsed. I told them they could each choose three books and a music CD. They loooooove borrowing CD’s from the library. Also, I chose three children’s books and an audio-book to take out on my own library card as a way to round-out their literary exposure. (The book-eqiuvalent to sneaking vegetables into their diets – something I don’t have to do because I instilled a love of veggies in them from the beginning).  Anywhoo, as soon as the words “music CD” came out of my mouth, Grace excitedly shouted “I’m getting Stop in the Name of Love!”

Oh Good Lord. I thought. Sometime last year she borrowed that particular title. What it is is a CD full of cheesy eighties pop love songs. Fun, you think. Maybe. If only the songs weren’t belted out by a shrilly and off tune ensemble of kids. The last time she got it, she played it over and over and over and over with increasing volume on the CD player in her room. She asked if I could find it. My eyes scanned the row of music. There it was. “I don’t see it honey.” I lied. Bad, lying freak of a mother. We moved on.

And then my all things English and French seven year old took a quick scan of every title on the rack. “Here it is,” said Adora as she pulled it out of the line-up and handed it over to her younger sibling. What love and caring help she provides. Grace jumped up and down with joy. I cringed a little on the inside, thanked Adora for her help and we moved on with our lives.

Foiled again. It blasts from the bedroom as I type this. I really need to let go.

Princess Battles

I decided to take the kids to the bookstore yesterday because they each had some cash leftover from Christmastime. The plan was that they would choose and then buy whatever book they wanted.

Adora immediately chose a huge hardcover Disney Princess collection. I vetoed it. Actually, I told her that she didn’t have enough money for that one since it was so big. I lied. Blatantly. And felt guilty doing it. But only because if I told her my real reason she would argue and argue and argue and argue. We’ve had this conversation before. So I lied. Bad parenting strategy. We’re going to have troubles when she’s big and she catches onto me. I can see the power struggles coming down the pipe.

Hey, I’m a lit lover.I wanted them to choose a good story. Good art.

And all the super-branded princess swag out there makes me want to puke.

So I made her choose something else.

She chose three books about fairies.

Sigh.

Oh well. Fairies I can handle. Fairies, at least, play outside and do things other than sigh sweetly and kiss boys.

I kind of like the Disney movies. I like to watch one every couple of years. They’re sweet. Just a few weeks ago we all watched the Princess and the Frog and we all liked it. What I don’t like is all the clothing, wall decals, toys, bedding, books and everything else that is designed to make money by grabbing the kids’ attention and distracting them from all the other good things in the world. Am I alone here?

When Adora was a baby/toddler, I used to buy 1/3 to 1/2 of her clothes from the boys section of the store. Simply so I could have choices to dress my child other than pink and pastel. And she looked so cute, like babies do. She didn’t look like a boy. And now that the kids are bigger, I make them wear pants most days for the simple reason that they climb around on playground equipment all day which just plain sucks in a dress. Also because it’s winter here and pants are a warmer option. But I feel like a bully doing it because they fight me about it several times a week. They pout and argue and whine. I sometimes feel like I’m somehow depriving them by not letting them be as pretty as they want to be every day. I like to look pretty every day. We just can’t seem to agree on the definition of pretty.

I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought that gender-biases in clothes and toys and all that stuff we spend money on for our children would get less and less severe as the years went by. But the emphasis on pink and princess and pretty these days make me want to pull my hair out. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I feel like I’m making it more of a headache for all three of us, more of a battle ground than it should be. Aren’t there more important places for my focus to lie?I feel like my kids are in competition with the other girls at school in the area of looking pretty, which in the future will translate into sex appeal, and I’m purposefully trying to hold them back. I feel like I’m right but I can’t explain why.

What are your thoughts? Am I making too big a deal of this, or should I stand my ground? It’s one of those things that I just can’t tell where it falls on the scale from trivial to important. Help me.

Basic Biology

Adora: “When it’s getting at the end of dinner your tummy is so full you can barely eat the last bites. And then when the desert is in front of you, your tummy becomes empty again so you can eat it.”

This One’s (Mostly) For Papa Rick

Photobooth. Becuase my other technology is toying with my emotions.

In this photo-booth shoot: Two lost teeth in the front, and her new Harley Davidson toque. She also bought a long sleeved Harley tee shirt. Thanks for the birthday gift certificate to the Harley store. Sje wanted to buy a motorcycle. I told her she would have to save her gift certificates for a very long time.

The other pictures were just for fun. Obviously.

Me and Him (and the other two)

Come see us in our new house!